Over tea this morning, my friend described how his girlfriend self-sabotages her artistic ambitions. She’d intended to apply to a particular art school, but for reasons that were weak at best, she didn’t. Her lack of initiative made her feel shitty about her entire career, and thus herself.
I have many ambitions. I have so many, in fact, that I fiddle around as to where to begin and end up doing nothing. Ideas clump up in my head like a gluey sparkle-mass, and I resolve to pull them apart another day. Instead, I listen to that old Radiohead album and gaze whimsically out my balcony door, watching the misty rain dampen my bamboo plant. I have a beer and sit on my couch with kitty rubbing against my leg. I’m relaxed. I’m truly happy.
I can do this sort of thing for hours.
But alas, there comes a point when I’m not happy anymore with just “being”. To the contrary, it’s my top-secret way of avoiding the fact that I’m creatively constipated.
I know I’m capable of something that makes me and others happy, but it’s all backed up; a noxious, gaseous complacency shifting my creativity back and forth inside of me, but never out of me. It just gets increasingly compacted, filling me with misery and bloated potential.
And that’s why I have this handy-dandy blog. It cracks me open, and that’s a start. I start with nothing, sitting on the throne, and I write until I feel some movement. I tinker. I pause….ok, I push a bit. But pushing too hard isn’t good, as we all well know. And then there they are: thought-droppings!!!! And hey, they actually do have an iota of cohesion!! 😀
Forgive me for the pooh analogy, but I had to find a reason to use the rainbow pooh image.
We all want to create something memorable. We want to have children, or make art, or write books or poetry or plays. We all have an innate need to create meaning in our lives and in the lives of others. If we don’t express our creativity, I believe we become emotionally constipated.
But expressing creativity takes action…we can’t sit on a bench in the sun and look at the beautiful clouds rolling by and not do anything. We can be inspired by the scene, but it’s our ability as human beings to take that inspiration and create something from it. I guess that’s what makes us human beings. To interpret nature and re-create it in some mysterious other form that serves to inspire the human beings around us.
And to release it feels damn good, too. Aaaaaahhhhh…
I conclude with some quotes:
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use it, the more you have it.” – Maya Angelou
“Clear out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.” -Dee Hock
“The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul.” -Dieter Uchtdorf
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” -Albert Einstein
“Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts and never hope more than you work.” -Rita Mac Brown