There are times where one day blends seamlessly into the next, and then there are times where so much shit gets crammed into 24 hours that you can literally see your eyelids aging. A time warp is currently occurring in my 37th year, not only from splitting from my partner, but also because my freelance career is going so well it’s very nearly kicking my ass, and because I have been dating multiple men, all of whom have their own, unique brand of intrigue.
I joined Tinder recently. It was nothing more than a fit of spontaneity that sprang from sheer boredom one rainy evening. Plus, my husband had installed the app and was reaping the fruits of his swiping labor. Why shouldn’t I also engage in this hard science of first impressions, I questioned the universe. I began swiping shortly thereafter, despite the voices in my head telling me it was too soon. I also wanted cheap validation. I also wanted a fun date. So fast-forward to now, where I’ve been on dates with the following men:
- The Brazilian anthropologist who enjoys pontificating as much as I do
- The Iranian (Dutch national) war-child advocate and math teacher who sometimes decides to bike from the Netherlands to Israel
- The “normal” Dutch guy who is actually not very normal at all
- The Dutch Arteest, art teacher and apparent Jami whisperer
Since I’m feeling bashful from having not blogged for awhile, I’m going to break myself in by saying nothing more at this moment. My husband is the only one who knows the entire story…a story we’ve both chuckled through, in spite of myself. I want to make clear though that I have nothing but respect for all of these guys. I find it incredible that I found them through Tinder. They are all intelligent, kind and interesting in their own way.
I will also share my learning around engaging in open relationships. Two of the above are in “open relationships” of very different natures. It’s been a learning curve for me. It’s been a useful one.
I leave you with the following quote from The Future of Love by Daphne Kingma, which I’m currently re-reading:
“Far from being rigid, relationships are a miraculous, organic process. Just as each time we take a new breath to both inhale and exhale, there is also an organic rhythm to our intimate connections. There is a rhythmic movement to our breathing, a coming and going, an entering and departing. Between these actions is an exquisite moment of stillness in which the essence of life occurs. Life breathing, like the tides and seasons change, so, too, do our relationships. Just as we breathe both in and out, there is an incoming and outgoing energy in all our intimate connections. The very essence of any relationship is movement.”
As always, thank you for reading.