“Everybody is born as one single individual, but by the time he is mature enough to participate in life he has become a crowd. If you just sit silently and listen to your mind, you will find so many voices. You will be surprised, you can recognize those voices very well. Some voice is from your grandfather, some voice is from your grandmother, some voice is from your father, some voice is from your mother, some voice is from the priest, from the teacher, from the neighbors, from you friends, from your enemies. All these voices are jumbled up in a crowd within you, and if you want to find your own voice, it is almost impossible, the crowd is too thick….
Naturally only one voice is missing in you, only one person is missing in you, and that is you; otherwise there is a whole crowd. And that crowd is constantly driving you mad, because one voice says, ‘do this,’ another voice says, ‘Never do that! Don’t listen to that voice!’ And you are torn apart.
This whole crowd has to be be withdrawn. This whole crowd has to be told, ‘Now please leave me alone!’. The people who have gone to the mountains or the secluded forests were really not going away from society; they were trying to find a place where they can disperse their crowd inside. And those people who have made a place within you are obviously reluctant to leave.”
One of the beauties of getting older: I realise that people don’t know any better than me about my own life. Most of us are walking around clueless as to how to solve the personal conflict in our own lives, yet we think we can give other people advice. It’s kind of hilarious and insane.
I do the same. I spout advice with the ‘good intention’ of helping people. We want to help our friend, our mother; our husbands and wives. We want to help our colleagues, our children, and the political representatives of our country. Everywhere we go, we’re giving opinions while shielding ourselves (or absorbing) all those opinions around us.
And while sometimes we really do want to help, we often have a need to give advice for our own purpose of feeling that we matter. We have a need to feel that feeling of superiority; that we know better than someone.
And I’m not saying that we should never take advice from people. I take advice from Osho on a regular basis as you see above; guy is probably my biggest hero. I do take advice from my mother and my friends, as sometimes they have a unique view that I may not have considered. But still, I’m consciously choosing to take that advice or throw it back to the wind. I know the difference from automatically absorbing advice from others into my psyche, and protecting myself from it, taking a look at it, and really considering whether or not it’s for me.
I was not always like this.
After committing adultery, the first big whopper “mistake” in my life, I was confronted with how much I cared about what others thought. I thought I was broken and didn’t know what was good for me, and I threw myself out the window of my own house. Things have changed since then, fortunately. I wake up everyday lately with a little more strength that I can look into my own heart to see what is right for me. I listen to my heart as the greatest source of advice, and any children I have will be encouraged to do the same.
I say kick all those voices out of your head as the number one priority of getting your mind in order. Do everything in your power to demand they vacate, and just leave you and god (a.k.a. your higher self) in there. I’ve asked the collective voices of my past to take a hike forever, and while they still whisper through my windows and do manage to crawl inside sometimes, I’m now vigilant in giving them the boot each and every time they traipse their muddy shoes across my floor.
I know this may sound obvious to some of you reading this; but maybe it’s a good reminder anyway.
You know what’s best for you. Listen to your own heart, which can whisper so very quietly amidst all the other voices in your mind.